The need for the other

This past Sunday I went to a friend’s bachelor party. It wasn’t the characterized “let’s hit every strip club and bar” type of deal. Instead, it was held at a cabin in southern Indiana that belongs to his fiancée’s relatives. The invitation said to “bring your own gun” as there would be a clay pigeon shoot. I don’t own a gun and I had only shot a shotgun once before on a hunting trip back in college. I had gone to church earlier in the day and from there to work. Leaving a bit early I drove down, farther and farther off the beaten path until I finally found the party location, hidden down a gravel road between deep woods and a large open field.

I was nervous as I pulled up to where everyone was gathered. First, my car has a couple of bumper stickers on it that wouldn’t jibe well with more conservative people (one of them is for a church in Indianapolis that ministers to the GLBTQ community). Second, I was still wearing my church clothes which made me stick out amongst a bunch of guys toting shotguns wearing boots, blue jeans, and t-shirts – at least one featured a collage of a monster truck, a girl in a bikini, and several Confederate flags.

As the late afternoon and evening wore on though, I felt guilty at my earlier nervousness and apprehension. I couldn’t have been among a friendlier or more welcoming group of men. We drank beer together, took turns shooting, played poker, and ate with one another around a camp fire. Jokes and stories were told, some more lurid than others. And as I sat and took everything in, I couldn’t help but feel that all of this was o.k. And I felt a love towards the people gathered. I recalled how in the gospels, people accused Jesus of being a drunk and a glutton. And I imagined Christ being among the fishermen of Galilee. I bet Peter, James, John, and the other disciples knew some pretty good dirty jokes. I imagine they knew the pleasure of getting together to eat, drink, and yes even get drunk together. I know I’ve had some of the most meaningful and deep conversations with people when we’ve knocked down a few rounds together. I left the party that evening having felt welcomed and accepted.

I write all of this because I think it hits upon a vital point to any conversation about the problems we face today. It is far too easy to write off the other, whether we disagree with them regarding politics, religion, the war, etc. Today I had lunch with a fellow student and we were discussing the difficulties of talking to fellow Christians whenever there is a disagreement about certain theological points or beliefs. What came to mind is a quote of Teilhard de Chardin’s (sorry, I can’t reference which work of his it comes from) that says “We are one, after all, you and I. Together we suffer, together exist, and forever will recreate each other." And that is true. Progressive Christians, such as me, will never get anywhere, properly address any issue, or resolve any crisis unless we do so with our Conservative or Fundamentalist Christian sisters and brothers. We must move forward together. Together we will fully realize the salvation of the world – that is the entire world and all beings and creatures that inhabit it.

It is easy to say this, but how exactly is it done? To be honest, I’m not sure. I am certain though that it must incorporate the spirit of leaving no one behind. Those who disagree with us, even to the extent of disdaining or hating us, should be central and vital to us. I draw you closer to me because you are the antithesis of me, not in a spirit of deception or cleverness, but in a recognition of me in you and you in me. We need each other.